I just had a baby and I want to be skinny again... NOW!

You and me both, sister.

Nothing compares to the INSTANT change in body image you experience with childbirth.  One day, I was a big, pregnant mama.  I took up space, but in a beautiful, womanly way.  I had boobs for the first time in my life, and felt really good about my body.  It was doing what it was born to do... create life.

Then the baby came out...

Now I feel all puffy and flabby.  My big stretched-tummy is 'soft and squishy', as my older child puts it, lovingly, while he loses himself in the folds of my post-partum tummy.  Yeah, nice for you buddy.  Not so nice for me.  To top it off, I'm not sleeping well, so I look terrible and have NO energy to cook or exercise.

A friend gave me an idea to write this blog post.  How to eat after you have a baby to achieve the following: Nourish yourself back to health, nourish your baby via the milk you make for them, and... of course... return to your super model pre-pregnancy body (OK, maybe we need a more realistic goal).  Because these things can happen all on the same diet.  But you have to be a little patient.  You need to be realistic too.  When our bodies switch over into 'create a whole new life' mode, we need honor that we cannot do THAT and everything else too.  And the 'create a whole new life' mode takes longer than just the gestation period.  There is the 'sustain life and triple their body weight using your own body' mode, which can last for a year or more... which happens at the same time as the 'recover from sharing all of your resources with a greedy little parasite growing in your uterus' phase.

I'm being a little glib, but I'm serious.  When you look around at all the women having babies and showing up at work again 3 months later doing everything they used to do PLUS raise children... do not be fooled.  They are really tired.  They do NOT do everything they used to do... they can't.  It is hard, and something has to give.  Usually the mother's health.  And just because you see other people doing it, doesn't mean you have to.  I would like to see more people set a different example.  We cannot do it ALL.  But we can do the important things well and be realistic.  And older moms can have an especially hard time with this recovery... and the expectations.  I know, I'm one of them.

Here is something I always include in my classes on First Foods (feeding babies).

“Almost all mothers can produce good milk, even if their diet is not perfect.” This is a myth. With this statement, we turn our backs on the accumulated wisdom of traditional people throughout the globe, most of whom recognized that nursing mothers need special diets to meet the special needs of the growing infant. As early as the 1940’s, science has observed a decline in the quality of human milk, as evidenced by extensive dental problems found in breastfed patients. Today, it is even worse. The levels of vital nutrients in breast milk vary two to ten-fold depending on the quality of the diet. It is essential to continue optimising your diet, not only to provide your infant with the best start, but also to keep yourself from being depleted in the process.

I'm sure I copied a good chunk of that paragraph from Nourishing Traditions, by Sally Fallon.... or from somewhere on the Weston A. Price Foundation website.  But I feel it is so true.  Women have so many more responsibilies these days.  We expect so much more of ourselves, but give ourselves so little in return in the way of nourishing, or yin-building things like good food and rest.  And when we are most in need of nourishing... after we create life and are in the process of single-handedly sustaining that life through our milk... we go on a crazy diet to try and look like Kate Moss at the same time.  Now what kind of craziness is that?  Our responsibility is to ourselves and our new baby... not to conform to some unattainable ideal.  Besides, by depriving ourselves at this critical phase, we only make future efforts harder.  This is why.

In addition to needing the very best foods to make good milk for our baby, we need it to replete our own stores.  What I see is so many women doing is depriving themselves of much-needed fat and high-quality animal protein (in an effort to avoid fat).  This can lead to loss of lean body mass.  Or the loss of muscle and bone (and brain... sorry, it has to be said).  The less muscle you have, the lower your metabolism.  (I go more into this in another blog post on low-fat diets).

We've been programmed to be depriving with our diets for so long because we long to be thin.  But deprivation is rarely the key to maintaining a healthy body weight.  Eating the RIGHT foods, NOURISHING your body with what it needs and avoiding the junk food that it does not need is all you really need to do in the food department.  But I'll be more specific.

One thing you have working against you now is the whole lack of sleep thing.  See, our weight and metabolism are very much affected by our stress levels and cortisol levels (cortisol is a stress hormone).  Higher cortisol levels (caused by higher stress levels) make it harder to lose weight.  For some of us, it makes it impossible to lose weight... especially the belly fat.  If you don't get enough rest, either from being interrupted all night or by just working yourself way too hard all day long and being strung out on caffeine and sugar, you have high cortisol levels.  If you are really stressed and sleep-deprived, and you work out like a maniac, you probably won't lose weight.

But let's say you are just DESPERATE to lose that baby fat by 6 months out.  So you force yourself to get up a little early and go for a run 4 days per week. For most of us, it's just going to make you more tired, and cause your cortisol levels to get higher and NOT help you lose weight.  In addition, when you are nursing, your ligaments are still pretty loose and you'll be very prone to injury.  Things will just hurt.  Now, I'm no exercise expert... but the people who I know who are, all know that adequate sleep is essential to making your exercise/training program work.  You can talk to them about the rest of that.  So let's go back to food...

What should you eat?  Think about what your grandmother would feed a growing child.  She would say, 'You need to EEEEAAAAAT!'  She wouldn't feed you diet foods, plain crackers and fat-free yogurt.  She would give you home made chicken soup, beef stew, red beans and rice, she would make you eat your vegetables and put gravy on everything because there is goodness in gravy.  She would give you butter and real yogurt.  You need to feed yourself that way.  Eat only MEALS... even snacks need to be very meal-like.  What do I mean by meal-like?  It should have protein, fat, vegetable, good carbohydrate.  

4 meals per day.  At each meal you should eat:

• Protein source (meat, poultry, fish, eggs, dairy, nuts, seeds, beans) get 15 grams per meal.
• A healthy fat: 10-15 grams per meal (about 1 Tbls. olive oil is 14 grams, one cup of full-fat yogurt has 8 grams of good fat AND 8 grams of protein... so buy the good stuff and enjoy it... Yoplait sucks)
• A natural carbohydrate source (amount depends on your metabolism... starchy veg, fruit, whole grain... but you need less of this than you do of other things.  And THROW OUT THE BOXES OF CEREAL.  They are too nutritional inferior for anyone... let along a new mother.)
• Non-starchy vegetables (emphasize the bright colors... raw and cooked.  Kale, chard, broccoli, sea weeds)
• Water or herbal tea... 

Every day, eat your superfoods!

• Superfoods are those foods that are especially nutrient-dense.  Things like pastured eggs, liver, cod liver oil, sea weeds, kale, avocados...

What shouldn't you eat?

You should NOT eat the empty calories you shouldn't have been eating all the other years in your life.  But now it really counts because you and your baby need all you can get.  

• Avoid: Trans fats, highly processed oils, margerines
• Avoid: Artificial sweetners, 
• Sugar and refined carbohydrates: The rise in blood sugar just adds to your body's stress level and is horrible for you.  Develop a love for 70% chocolate... but don't go crazy on it and say I'm the one who told you to.  I like Theo's 70% orange or toasted coconut.  I'll give you  my dark chocolate pudding recipe too, if you ask.  
• Minimize: Caffeine and alcohol (though a good-quality beer can be very good for your milk production... again...just don't overdo it and say I was the one who said to).

What could your day look like?

• Breakfast: Veggie omelette with 2 eggs and left over veggies from last night's dinner.  With a piece of toast and herbal tea.  A tablespoon of cod liver oil.  (Or some oatmeal with fruit, honey, nuts and yogurt)
• Lunch: Chopped up chicken salad in a pita with sprouts, tomatoes and avocado. (Or fried rice made with left over brown rice, 2 eggs and peas or broccoli).  Kindly ask your partner if they would make you a sandwich when they pack their own lunch for the day so it's ready for you later.
• Snack: Smoothie made with whole milk yogurt, banana, blueberries, strawberries, and honey.  Make enough for 2 more days.  (Veggies and hummus, bowl or soup, another sandwich would be good)
• Dinner: Beef stew made with grass-fed beef, mashed potatoes and roasted kale and brussel sprouts.  Grilled salmon, asparagus and rosemary roasted potatoes.  Red bean and quinoa chili with cole slaw.  (Give your friends and family ideas of the kids of food you like so they can give you frozen dinners that you will actually enjoy.)  

Water throughout the day.  Whenever you are getting ready to sit down and nurse, put your water bottle next to you so you and make sure you finish it by the time you get up again.

See... even my own kids hardly recognize me from this picture.  
You're just a different animal when you're a nursing mother.

It seems like during this time when you need to eat the best, you have the least amount of time or energy to cook.  Do the best you can, ask for help and BE SPECIFIC about what you need and want.  People like that.  Make your own google docs spread sheet and send it out to make your own little month or 2 of meals people can send you.  Even if it's just 2-3 per week... it can help.

There are so many different ways to build a good diet.  Hearty soups and stews made with homemade broth are my favorite.  You can put them in the slow-cooker while your baby is napping early in the day and include so many nutritious foods.  Around the world, throughout time, people have been nourishing their new mothers in their own ways.  It's only recently that we've forgotten how important it is.

If you nourish yourself mindfully during the first year of your child's life, your body will pay you back.  You will still be softer this year, but you will gradually get your strength back.  When you start sleeping more, you can start building some muscle back with gentle strength training, yoga, pilates, swimming, walking... then work up.  While you are nursing, you body will try to hold on to a 'fat pad' where it stores extra energy for making milk.  In your back, the backs of your thighs (nice)... wherever.  You've got to just accept this as a natural part of motherhood.  This time is short and important for both you and your baby, so just buy some nice-looking clothes that suit your more womanly body and carry on.  If you rush things, you risk damaging your metabolism, losing more lean body mass and it becomes harder later on.  Before you know it, you'll have a 2 year old and your old jeans will fit again.  Just in time for #2 to come along.  ;-).